12/18

7:20pm water breaks
9:00pm I’m in my hospital suite (room 330 at St. Vincent’s Hospital in Beaverton)

10:43 I’m HUNGRY!!!!! Can’t eat until after he’s born damnit!

I’ll keep adding to this as things happen. This wil be the first place pictures get posted as well.

If you have any questions, comments or whatever just let me know here

I want to be able to:

• take a deep breath without it hurting.
• eat a decent sized meal without feeling sick.
• eat sushi.
• be able to walk normally and not like a duck.
• sleep through the night, Ok so I still wont for a while but at least it will be for different reasons and it will be both of us.
• not have to go pee all the frakkin time.
• not get nauseous at random.
• not be hungry and tired all the time.
• feel “normal”(I miss and I’m sure Cris does as well my normal level of craziness instead of this hormone fueled insanity that has been the last 8 & 1/2 months).
• keep track of “me”, I’ve gotten bigger than I can keep track of so I keep hurting myself.
• use all the baby stuff we have that I have been organizing and reorganizing too many times to count for the past 2 months.
• fit into the other half of my “wardrobe”.
• meet our son.
• have a drink.
• sleep on my stomach!
• walk up/down stairs without feeling like I’m going to fall.
• not randomly lose my balance.

I guess what I’m trying to say is “I want “me” back + my son.”

From the first time Chris (my fiance, and father of our soon to be born son) and I went into our local health and human services office to apply for medical assistance we noticed that if ether of us could read and or speak Spanish things would have been alot easier. We had to wait 1/2 hour+ to speak to someone, but if we could read Spanish we would have seen the sign as soon as we walked in pointing us to the applications for Oregon Heath Plan. Hence saving us time and effort. When Chris and I returned to turn in the application we again had to wait a 1/2 an hour+ to talk to someone, she did not have English as a first language, so there were communication difficulties. We turned in the application along with copies of our ids, social security cards and a proof of pregnancy given to us by a midwife in Washington before we moved to Oregon. I feel the need to mention that I was “showing” by now, not alot but significantly enough that anyone could tell by looking at me that I was in fact pregnant. We were then told that that should be sufficient information and to expect something in the mail in the next 2-3 weeks. We were not contacted by the state ether by phone or by mail. I received a bill about two weeks later from the clinic where I went for my ultrasound with a note stating that I was denied by O.H.P. This was the first Chris and I had heard anything about our application.

After a little over an hour of trying to call someone who could tell me what happened, calling the local O.H.P. office waiting through their automated system(press 1 for Spanish, press 2 for English etc.) being told I needed to call a different number. I finally was told that they did send us notification of a need for more information and when we did not respond we were denied. Well they thought they sent us letters when in fact someone had entered 19th instead of 1st as our address, and because our case was closed they could not correct the error. We needed to go into our local office and reapply and apply for an appeal. We went to our local office to reapply, apply for an appeal and correct the error. We were then told that they could not correct the error, that we were to call the main heath and human services office in Salem and they could correct our address in their system. I was beginning to feel like I was running around in circles.

A few days after we found out we were denied by O.H.P. we went to what (unbeknownst to Cris and I) would be our last visit to my (then) doctor. Dr. A. told us that she would now be seeing me every 2 weeks instead of every 4 weeks as we had been the previous visits. Chris and I went to San Jose to visit his parents and for the baby shower Ardee (Chris’ mom) was throwing me. Chris and I rode the train down to San Jose on Thursday and Ardee and Jerry drove us back up (car packed with baby shower gifts) on the following Tuesday. We returned home to find a letter from my doctors office:

“I find it necessary to inform you that I am withdrawing from further professional care. If you so desire I shall be available to provide you with care relating to your current condition for a reasonable time after you have received this letter , but in no event for more than 30 days from the date of this letter. This should give you ample time to select another physician of your choice. With your approval, I will make available to your new physician your case history and information regarding the treatment you have received under my care.”

We had arrived home after business hours, ao I called the next morning and attempted to find out why my doctor had “withdrawn from further professional care” because as you may have noticed the letter does not say. I was unable to find out definitively from the receptionist why my doctor had basically canceled us with little to no warning, and Dr. A. was unavailable. However from what I did gather I was canceled due to delay of payment. Yet again because someone at heath and human services doesn’t know the difference between 1st and 19th I am without a doctor. I did have an appointment with Dr. A for that Friday, however even though it clearly states in the letter that I would still be able to receive care for up to 30 days my appointment was canceled.

When our 2nd application and appeal arrived in Salem we were contacted by a woman named Sonnie. Sonnie seamed to be helpful at first, and she was helpful in “getting the ball rolling”. Sonnie corrected our address in the system and then sent us a list of information that we needed to send to her. Some of which we thought we would be unable to get because of Chris’s line of work (web design). However we were told by a very helpful woman on our next visit to the heath and human services office that we did in fact have sufficient information, that in her opinion Sonnie was “asking for the moon”. She also told us that we qualified for food stamps. We still have to wait a few weeks for the Salem office to look over our case again and hopefully approve us. However it looks like I will have medical assistance at least by the time baby Alexandr is born, with approx a month and a half left until my due date that should be enough time for the state to decide that a pregnant woman deserves a doctor.

The “anti choicers” and their kind protest at our doctors offices and sometimes our places of worship, our “churches” if you will. How many pro choice rallies do you hear of in comparison to “anti choice” protests. When we do gather we do not stoop to their level and hold protests at their churches and doctors offices. We do not use scare tactics, lies and violence to try to prove our point. I guess we just assume because we have logic on our side that we will prevail. Logic and reason will not stop them all. The worst of these “anti choicers” have bombed our doctors offices on Christmas day and called it “A birthday present to baby Jesus”. They twist and contort the words of the bible in a feeble attempt “justify” their actions. Christians and other religions or faiths that follow the bible tend to be good peace loving people. Its the few bad apples that are making the whole group look bad.

Logic will fail in the face of ignorance. As we have all seen in the past to many years with the so called leader of our country. We have all seen it whether we want to admit it or not. In an article on the subject the New Yorker stated March 13, “The Bush Administration has been relentless in its opposition to any drug, vaccine, or initiative that could be interpreted as lessening the risks associated with premarital sex”. Does it bother anyone else that the “leader” of our country is allowing his own religious beliefs to cloud or rather blind his judgment, ignoring the truth of logic and science. Biology and religion do not mix. Faith in God will not protect you from a virus nor a bacteria. By using an abstinence (or faith) based sexual health system we are going straight back to the dark ages (which I might add is what we called it the last time the church ruled the world) where women were property and magic “cured” disease.

We the pro choicers need to be heard louder than the “anti choicers”. We have a challenge in front of us, yes but what is worth getting that comes easy. If the “anti choicers” succeed in taking away or freedom too choose what we want to with our bodies and outlaw abortions. I ask you: What is next, our freedom of speech or religion?

The “anti choicers” are succeeding in their quest to take away our freedom of choice. Despite recent national polls indicating that a majority of Americans do not want abortion to be outlawed, lawmakers in at least five states — Georgia, Indiana, Ohio, South Dakota and Tennessee — have offered bills that seek to ban all abortions, except when the woman’s life is in danger. On March 6, 2006 South Dakota’s Republican governor, Mike Rounds, signed into law a bill banning almost all abortions in the state. The bill makes it illegal for doctors to perform an abortion under any circumstance other than to save the life of a woman. Women in sparsely populated South Dakota currently obtain about 800 abortions a year. Under the new law women will be forced to take time off of school and work and spend money traveling out of state. These expenses and hardships are added to the price of abortion in the United States, putting the ability of women to control their own bodies and their own lives further out of reach for many poor women. National Lawyers Guild (NLG) President Michael Avery said, “The legislators and the governor of South Dakota have violated their oath of office to uphold the Constitution.

In closing I have no bones to pic with most people. Its the war mongers, the so called “right” Fundamentalist Christians. Those who are so blinded by hate and or their own beliefs that feel the need to force their own beliefs on others that I take issue with. I understand that there are true pro lifers. People who don’t believe in abortion and at the same time know that using lies, scare tactics and violence to get their point across is wrong and in some cases hypocritical. Although I do not agree with pro lifers either I wish them no ill will. If you do your thing and let me and my people do ours then you are good people. It is impossible to force someone to truly agree with you.

Peace,

Zoe

Relevant links for more information:

Stateline.org

Portland independent media center

It feels like the closer we (my fiance cris and I) get to being parents the more we can't stand the way most people "parent" (if it can even be called that). I have decided that this is the reason the our country, dare I say our world, is going to hell in a handbasket. I can't name more than a handful of my intelligent friends who are in relationships that want to breed. Our problem is that more stupid people (that should not even be thinking about breeding) than intelligent people are breeding.

I have decided to start convincing all of my intelligent friends to breed. I strongly advocate birthcontrol and adoption. There are many choices, so if you are not ready to have and parent children please, for the sake of our future use them!

I cant stand those "pro life" people when they protest at abortion clinics! I think they should change their name to anti-choice.How would those people like it if I organised a pro choice rally and went to their doctors offices? I wouldn't ever do such a thing and stoop to their level. Although I wonder if it might get the point across that thats exatly what they are doing.

I could say more about this particular subject but its a bit of a tangent so I will save it for another post on a later date.